This Is Not A Hollywood Film

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COCO

There's no other love like the love for a brother. There's no other love like the love from a brother.

Dad....

Thank you for your love

Not a day goes by when I don’t imagine what life would be like had you not died. Every situation that I find myself in (be it a family function, my matric ball, my graduation from university) I imagine a scenario where you’re present and sharing in the happy moments.

When I dream about you, I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy that you were in my dream and sad that it ended too soon.

I used to cry a lot in the beginning because of the void left by your death, but as I got older it got a bit easier. I still cry sometimes, but it’s easier to now laugh and smile at the memories.

Thank you, daddy. Thank you for your love. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for being a good, hard working human being who encouraged me to be the best person I can be and to do the best I can in everything I wish to achieve.

Mostly, thank you for being my father. I love you.

Imagine Dragons - Demons (Live in Stockholm)

When the days are cold

And the cards all fold

And the saints we see

Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail

And the ones we hail

Are the worst of all

And the blood’s run stale

I want to hide the truth

I want to shelter you

But with the beast inside

There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed

We still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come

This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

Don’t get too close

It’s dark inside

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

When the curtain’s call

Is the last of all

When the lights fade out

All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave

And the masquerade

Will come calling out

At the mess you made

Don’t want to let you down

But I am hell bound

Though this is all for you

Don’t want to hide the truth

No matter what we breed

We still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come

This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

Don’t get too close

It’s dark inside

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

They say it's what you make

I say it's up to fate

It's woven in my soul

I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright

I want to save their light

I can't escape this now

Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

Don’t get too close

It’s dark inside

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

One More Light (Official Video) - Linkin Park

One More Light was written with the intention of sending love to those who lost someone. 

Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?

Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?

We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep

There are things that we can have, but can't keep

If they say

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

It flickers, flickers

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

If a moment is all we are

We're quicker, quicker

Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

The reminders pull the floor from your feet

In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh

And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair

Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there

If they say

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

It flickers, flickers

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

If a moment is all we are

We're quicker, quicker

Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

It flickers, flickers

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

If a moment is all we are

We're quicker, quicker

Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

Well I do

Moby - Like A Motherless Child (Official Video)

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

So far from home

This was life and this was safer

All was strange and always stranger

I latent hate but so much later

I'm never safe from all this danger

The demon's eyes and demon sate her

I was bait but what would bait her?

Don't know my needs, don't know my way, sir

I hide my face, no way to face her

This was loss, this was my name

This was my truth, this was no game

This was not hope, this was not sane

And from these broken places made

That was loss and this was later

I wanted less but nothing greater

I couldn't leave, I couldn't stay, sir

Like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

So far from home

This was loss and this was later

Always hate but never hate her

I laid in wait but so much later

I'm never safe from all this danger

The demon's eyes and demon sate her

I was bait and what would bait her?

Don't know my needs, don't know my way, sir

I hide my face, no way to face her

This was loss, this was my name

This was my truth, this was no game

This was not hope, this was not sane

And from these broken places made

That was loss and this was later

I wanted less but nothing greater

I couldn't leave, I couldn't stay, sir

Like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child

So far from home

So far from home

Moby - Almost Home feat Damien Jurado (Live at The Fonda, L.A.)

I'll decide

In a moment's time

To turn away

Leave it all behind

So we climb

So we're all are told the line

The crowd is home

The treasure found

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

Time to scout

When I was a child there

I know at heart

To be at your side

So we climb

Somewhere I will draw the line

I dream it, too

The stars were mine

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

I'll decide

In a moment's time

To turn away

Leave it all behind

So we climb

Somewhere I will draw the line

The crowd is home

The treasure found

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

So let it go

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We're almost home

FEEL TOO MUCH

I feel too much. That's what's going on.' 'Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?' 'My insides don't match up with my outsides.' 'Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?' 'I don't know. I'm only me.' 'Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.' 'But it's worse for me.' 'I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him.' 'Probably. But it really is worse for me.

HOLE

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. 

Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.

I'm that sick

I’m lonely. And I’m lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.

LP - When We're High [Audio]

Oh when we're high

Oh my God, you blow my mind

So let's get high (let's get high)

Live until we die, yeah

Oh you and I (you and I)

Let's just do it one more time, (one more time)

A million times

So let's get high (let's get high)

Live until we die, yeah

Linkin Park - One More Light (Tribute to Chester Bennington)

If they say

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

It flickers, flickers

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

If a moment is all we are

We're quicker, quicker

Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

JAS

I'm excited, happy, nervous, anxious....  I AM FEELING  ... that's all

PARA UNA BUENA AMIGA VI

It’s the art of creating intimacy... t’s about connecting in a cosy, elegant, unfussy way. It’s about weaving friendship and intimacy with ease.

Saudade “the love that remains” after someone is gone. It’s the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It describes a deep nostalgic longing.

But it goes deeper – implicit in the emotion is the fact it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (your children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (places, things you used to do in childhood) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It can also describe a love for something that you know will never exist.

Saudade: It brings sad and happy feelings all at once; sadness from missing something loved and happiness for having experienced the love.

Moby - This Wild Darkness (Official Video)

Apportioned like madness in season

Bracing all like a breaking of reason

With every night lost and every day torn

With a drama feeling calmer and it's a comma in the storm

Speakers are crying like a forest in the rain

I was so alone with my thoughts and my pain

And the darkness closed like a mouth on a wire

And I'll never be free

Ooh, in this darkness

Please light my way

Light my way

Ooh, in this darkness

Please light my way

Light my way

I can't stand on my own anymore

I can't stand in the stain of the broken and poor

I can't break what I held and it never was true

In the mirror what I said was a lie to you

And me and everything I see and everything I could

Tried so hard to be good

For myself, for you, for the hidden and divine

For everything but I can fail just so many times

Ooh, in this darkness

Please light my way

Light my way

Ooh, in this darkness

Please light my way

Light my way

I can't stop when I feel like stopping

At 5 A.M. just cry, shoot, copping

A perfect life was enough for you

And ever enough to see me through

For all my lies that were spoken in ways

And the way we lived as an affront to the days

It was an affront to the things that we cared about

An affront to everything that we cared about

Ooh, in this darkness

Please light my way

Light my way

Ooh, in this darkness

Please light my way

Light my way

To Jas

Love doesn’t just magically appear, it doesn’t magically happen, you have to let it happen, and you have to work at it when it does. Love isn’t always convenient, it doesn’t always have good timing and it definitely doesn’t always look or feel the way it does in books and movies. But no matter how weird and difficult love can be, you should never feel like it’s hard to love someone and you should never feel like it’s hard for them to love you. Relationships are hard, but love, I don’t think love is hard. Love is something that if it’s real, it’s always there.

Be yourself. Don’t doubt or worry or fear. Spend your life with the people who make you feel good, the people who make those doubts, worries, and fears fade into the background. Spend your life letting every bit of happiness in, and love will come with it.