cruel world...

Such a Cruel Cruel World..

We all feel like giving up sometimes, at one point or another in our lives. It's tough when life pushes you to the edge and the whole world seems to be going against you. It's harder when you're all alone and there's no one to turn to. Even harder when desperation and fear cloud your mind. Solutions seem impossible to find. Everything seems wrong, you feel lost.

Take a deep breath. Take the time to just sit back, and allow yourself to just forget about everything for one moment. Forget about the disappointment, forget about the frustration, forget about the resentment. And while you're doing that, allow yourself to listen to some music. Don't underestimate the power of music. Music is a powerful medium. Music can make you feel differently. Music can sometimes move you, make you feel certain way. We all have our own favorite we will turn to when we feel certain way, if you don't, below are my suggestions, the 10 good songs you should listen to when you feel like giving up on life, for the hope that they will somehow help you see things in a brighter perspective.

I don’t know about any of this any more. I try not to get into this feelings, into this temptation to end everything but lately it has just become to much. Never have I experienced it this bad, to the point where I actually wake up in the morning extremely disappointed and wishing that God would have finally answered my prayers and just taken me.

I try hard for others going through this and I tell them to keep strong, just to hold on but look at me! I can’t even listen to myself! I can’t even hold on, It’s like everything I once had just appears so distant now. Everything I’ve ever wanted in life has suddenly stopped being what I want. Now, I’ll I want is to stop this pain, be happy even if being happy comes within my last few breaths of life…..

This month, much like many others, has been completely insane.  I hate it so much. I feel out of place no matter where I go. I hate feeling so vulnerable.

Do you ever hate yourself for waking up in the morning? Or for how you look in the mirror? .... Things are getting so bad... I'm fucked up. In more ways than one. I've made bad decision after bad decision and I'm still on that road. 

Bottom line?

I'm going into a bad place again. Well, a lower place than what I was at. I'm scared of being alone with myself but I also scared of people ........

Why do I feel so sad? why do I feel so much pain? Why do I go for days at a time without eating or sleeping? why people are so selfish? why people forget about compassion? .........why? why? why?

These are the things that I think about all the time. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. I'm sorry if I screwed up. I'm sorry that I'm not good enough. I feel horrible. 

Numbness is better than pain. I'm hurting so bad and no one understand that. Its so frustrating. I can't take all of the judging and criticizing and everything else.