To other survivors:
You are not alone. Not now, not ever. Crawl if you have to, but keep moving forward in the knowledge that you are supported, loved, believed, and not at fault for what happened to you. You are part of a siblinghood of people from all walks of life who know the type of pain you do. You will never walk this path alone, but your path is yours and no one else’s. Walk it in the ways that are most healing to you. There are more resources than you could ever imagine; find the ones that help make your heart sing again. Talk. Scream. Dance. Create. Write. Read. Commune. Speak up, whether in therapy or on a stage outside of your government’s office, demanding change. Do what you need to do. I will be here for you, no matter your choices. I will always be here for you.
To the ones that walked away:
Thank you for the good times we did have along the way. To be fair, it was a difficult period to be a part of my life. But even more than it was difficult to be part of it, it was difficult to lead it, and your unexpected absence made it more so. However, in the end, I forgave you, too. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it looks a lot like self-destruction at points. You missed out on seeing me grow into a stronger woman. You really missed out. I used to think it was my loss, but it was yours. It always will be. You walked away from a friend who cared deeply about you and would have been there for you in a heartbeat, had it been you going through turmoil. I wish you the best.
To my loved ones:
I can never find quite the right words to express my gratitude and appreciation for you. I guess “thank you endlessly and infinitely” is as close as it’s going to get. I love you more than I could ever express in words. Thank you for sitting with me when I was in darkness, celebrating with me when I was in light, and repeating that cycle with me every time it happened. Thank you for your words of encouragement, love, acts of service, quality time, and everything else that you have given to me. Thank you for wanting to learn how to support me well, even when we have our communication missteps and you accidentally trigger me or say the wrong thing here and there. I appreciate you bringing laughter and joy back into my life when I wondered if I would ever fully feel it again. I just cannot tell you how important you have been to my healing and how grateful I am that you have chosen to walk alongside me in it. Thank you for cheering me on at all of the little milestones of healing. Thank you for making sure that I would never feel alone in this. Thank you. Just thank you.
To myself, the survivor herself:
You are not just growing back; you are becoming a new creation. You are amazing. You are amazing on days where you reach milestones and blow your own expectations out of the water. You are amazing on days when your anxious thoughts could pile to the ceiling if you opened your skull. You are amazing, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. You have come so far and you will continue to meet your goals because that’s who you are. You are who you chose to become after.
I’m healing. Not healed, but I’m on my way….
