Fighting the ego...

Anytime there is a struggle between doing what is actually right and doing what seems right, then your ego is interfering with your decision... Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego... Never let your pride or ego stop you from reaching out to someone you truly care for.

... mind is foolish. Mind always goes on searching for excuses to fight. If you have a mind you have a potential fighter within you who is always in search of a fight with somebody. Why is the mind always in search of a fight? – because by fighting ego is gathered, becomes stronger. Through fighting you gain ego; if you don’t fight, ego disappears.

Once you stop fighting the ego cannot exist. Ego exists in fight; it is a consequence of fight. The more you fight the more ego exists. If you are left alone on the earth, nobody to fight with, will you have an ego? You will not have an ego. The other is needed to create it; the other is a must. Ego is a relationship, it is not in you. Remember, the ego is not in you, it is not located within you. It is always located between you and the other – somewhere in between, where fight exists.

There are two types of relationship: one is of fight, fear, hatred – this creates ego; the other is of love, compassion, sympathy. These are the two types of relationship. Wherever love is, fight ceases, ego drops. This is why you cannot love. It is difficult, because to love means to drop the ego, to drop yourself. Love means not to be.

True love in any kind of relationship means the fight has disappeared, the two have become one. Their bodies exist separately but their being has mingled. The boundaries are lost, there is no division. There is no ‘I’ and no ‘thou’; now one exists.

From The book: A Bird on the Wing