Well I think everybody is individual and it takes you differently. All I know is that when you start to feel suicidal you've gone down so low that its very hard to try and climb back up and I think if anybody does start to feel exactly like that then they really must go to a doctor and get help.
I don't think medication is the be all and end all to help you with depression; it is talking to people who understand what you're going through and I think groups... people can help you on that. Especially people perhaps who've gone through similar and come back up and out you know. I've not always been positive.
Even now I still have my down days but I I've now learnt that they are my down days and sometimes I'm very depressed but again, just like my physical illness, I just go with it. I don't worry about it. I don't worry anymore because having the treatment I had when I had my breakdown I keep going back to that and OK I could be down I think to myself 'you've got to do something, you really have to go do something' because it's like a circle.
If you go down you could stay down and if you don't do anything you go wrong. You've got to try and break that circle and if somebody says, 'Why don't you go out for a walk' and you often turn round and say, ' I don't want to go' , or, 'I cant be bothered.' that's when you've got to talk to yourself very hard and say 'ok', because if you can keep your mind active enough to do something, even just go and sit in the garden or...
I'm not saying at that point you feel like doing any reading or anything but just giving yourself a little bit of exercise just to go out even in a wheelchair to go out to feel the breeze on your face and see the sun, when we get it, we've had a lot of that just lately! But even the rain, go out and just look at shops. Something might just click in you to make you feel just that little bit better. You certainly will be better than staying in and not doing anything.
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