“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.”
Love everyone and everything, without attaching strings and without judging them.
Have personal regard and respect for the people you meet. Treat them as equals and not inferior or superior in any way.
Work on the principle that everyone is, at heart, good. Assume that although they may do questionable things, the person underneath is fundamentally pure.
If you love someone unconditionally, then you cannot judge or blame them or find them bad.
Unconditional love works well in relationships too. If you do not put conditions on your partner, then you open the doors for a much more fulfilling and trusting relationship.
If universal unconditional love is difficult for you, start with your family and people you know. Or just try it in a single conversation.
Or, if you just find the word 'love' too difficult at the moment, try starting with 'regard'. Unconditional regard is still very good and may be more acceptable for those who focus more on thinking than feeling.
Unconditional love means love without condition. It means giving love without expecting anything in return, including any reciprocal love. Unhappiness comes from unfulfilled desire. If you can love without desire, then you can only be happy.
This can be a difficult route to happiness, yet it is one where a great deal of happiness can be found. The more you can stretch your love, the happier you can be.
Unconditional love is nothing to do with romance. It does not want anything from the other person, though it may want everything for them. It is not about desire and possession; it is about appreciation and concern.
One principle, from the field of psychoanalysis is that we have an inner true self that is too vulnerable to expose, so we cover it up with the mask of a false self. Unconditional love is of the true self. Perhaps also it comes from the true self. In this way, it may be considered as the most real and truthful form of affection and bonding.
By showing you care about that inner core, you can get much closer to the person and connect with them in a more truthful and rewarding way.
Loyalty and commitment teach us that we are not to walk away from people that we love. Buddhism teaches us to love without expectation. There are a lot of belief systems about love and I question them often. If your love is shared and you are both happy I assume you wouldn’t have to question love at all.
But if your relationship, be it friendship or romantic love, is unbalanced and one person is hurting, how much is enough? How many pieces are supposed to break and how damaged can we allow ourselves to get before we throw these belief systems out the window and accept that this type of love isn’t healthy?
How do we do what is best for ourselves without damaging the heart and mind of someone else in the process?
Love and relationships require work and responsibility. We have to learn when to stretch and when to break.
For a long time I didn’t believe I would find love so I subconsciously chose partners who I knew would be a challenge. I am no longer interested in this challenge. I told myself when my last relationship failed that I would never put myself in a situation where I didn’t know where I stood in someone’s life again; where I felt unsteady and unloved.
Love is a gift.
Let people into your life who accept you and love you without judgment.... Tough! let me tell you.... You will be able to grow and learn and love freely without fear. You will start to receive the type of love that you are trying to give, and you will continue to become the person you truly want to be. You will avoid the types of people that can hurt you and bring you down. You will stop being hurtful and damaging to others.
Once you are able to love yourself openly and without judgment, then you have the power to love others the same exact way. It's the path to healthy relationships. It's the path to true love.
To love someone without expecting anything in return is possibly the hardest love to find and to give and it is truly a special thing.
It is hard to give to someone love without expecting anything back, but sometimes a situation can deteriorate to such an extent that the other person is incapable of giving anything back to you in return. Maybe their mental condition has taken a turn for the worst, or they just find it hard to express love, or maybe they are just not in love with you, for example. Having an unconditional commitment to someone means loving them despite not ever receiving anything back from them and any selfish desire to receive love needs to be put aside in that situation.
