Loss always terrifies me ... now I am experiencing and is only darkness and nothingness... I feel like I lose my ability to act... like falling down an abyss at uncontrollable speed... There is nothing around me and I have no idea where I am headed. The only thing that I know is that I am falling.
So, what now? What next? The concept of a future becomes so alien and scary... I just know that I want to die as soon as possible just to be with my dad, I don't like my world without him... I love him more than I love anything... It still feels unreal... I still expect to get a silly text message or speak to him on the phone. I was not ready to say goodbye, are we ever ready to say goodbye? There was so much I wanted him to see and do.
Today I found that It is possible to die of a broken heart through broken heart syndrome (study by the Mayo Clinic found about 3.6 percent of fatalities rate in patients with broken heart syndrome).
The physical symptoms may include chest pain and pressure, shortness of breath, arrhythmia, stomach pain, nausea and/or loss of appetite, fatigue, insomnia. The psychological effects may include depression, constant or frequent crying, thoughts of suicide, feelings of emptiness, detachment from reality.
Yes I can die of a broken heart ...
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