I never imagine how difficult will be ... there is no good time or way for someone you care about to die ... I keep writing because I want to share my sadness and express the loss I am feeling.
I feel that I was left wandering in the dark, fumbling around to get our bearings... and what to do with all these feelings that suddenly appeared??? ... anger, frustration, a sense of abandonment, confusion, a sense of worthlessness, depression and a struggle to believe in a happy future hmmm nooooo in a future period. I cannot blame anyone for them.
I know what I believe. I believe I’ll see him again, and I really do look forward to that day... there is a huge hole in my life now, where my dad once was. It’s hard to accept that he is simply gone, even if it’s to a much better place. It hurts, and it’s hard.
Anger can be unattractive, there’s no question about it. It’s messy and unpredictable, sometimes loud and violent. And in a world where we like things to make sense, it’s often unacceptable. But never was like now. There’s a long list of people I am angry with... myself, the doctors, God because why did He leave me alone? Why? Why?
I’m angry, and I don’t know what to do with my anger...
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