Monday, November 12, 2012

angry...


It's been a few days but it still very very surreal. The last time I see him he was laughing and talking. He was worry about me... I feel like he is still here, but when I try to look for him the sudden realization makes me very sad and miss him so much.

Father, I love you...

There are no words for the deep anguish I feel ... it feels like someone threw my heart at a brick wall. It's really hard without him. I still have part of his ashes...  My dad was a stable support for me. I always felt like everything would be okay when he was living. Now uncertainty & loneliness haunt me. No one can take his place.

Aggghhhh I have so much guilt, shock, denial, anger, sorrow, and fear. I feel so empty, he was my life.



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