I never thought it would be this hard ... and experience such pain God!!!
I still remember the first time I felt huge awful pain; it was when I was around 10 years old and I lost my grandmother. I still remember the shock followed by the excruciating heartache and then the endless tears. It was very hard to comprehend that I’ll no longer be able to see, hear, or hug her anymore... emptiness engulfed me and I was suddenly drowning in sadness.
The pain I am feeling now because my dad is not here anymore is wayyyyyy worst ....
He always had the answers. The world had infinite joys to discover and I had endless curiosity. Life seemed to go on forever and I never thought about death.
After the funeral, that all changed. I lost my parent, my hero, my everything ...
I miss him so badly that it hurts. I will never, for the rest of my life, enjoy a meal in the company of my father, or laugh at our inside jokes, or talk about our plans for the future. I will never again, ever, be able to call him and talk with him ... no more wisdom, no more deep conversations. Never again will I ever see my dad and be able to hug him and tell him how much I love him, and how much he means to me....
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